I'm not a huge comfort eater. But here, I am munching all flippin day. For breakfast, I have at least two chocolate milkshakes, biscuits, cakes and toast, for lunch I'll have soup and salad, plus another two milkshakes, maybe a yoghurt and more cake. Then for dinner I'll have chicken, tortilla, cheese, a yoghurt, then another chocolate milkshake before bed, and I'll probably polish off another four Oreos in bed. Surely this diet is not doing me any good... but I can't help it.
I've had a pretty awful day, and the only thing which makes it better is eating. This morning the children refused to do their class. Then when the Mum comes in to check on me (as per usual), she thinks it's my fault. For some reason she thinks that her children do everything I say and that I can control them. Well I'm sorry Madre, but you are wrong. If you can't control your own children, then how am I supposed to?
I'm in bed, it's 10:30pm and the children are screaming the house down in the bedroom next door. When I was younger, my bed time was ALWAYS before 9pm up until the age of about 13. The children are 4, 7 and 8 years old, so why is their bed time 10pm?
It's a real shame because I feel like I want to quit. I want to tell the father tomorrow that I've had enough and want to go home, but I haven't got the cojones to do so. I've said to myself, that if this carries on and I am no happier by next Tuesday when we leave Zaragoza, then I am going to have to say something to the father. The other day the 8 year old girl bit her 4 year old brother on the back until he bled. At first I stood there in shock, then tried to pull her off him, and I got punched in the face. Is this how all children act!? To be honest I don't know, because I'm never surrounded by children, but I'm pretty sure this is awful behaviour.
To be honest, I'm not really upset with the children's behaviour, because they are children. I'm more upset with how the mother treats me. She watches my every move and it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Every day she will come into the class and question the way I'm teaching her children. If you are so bothered, then hire an English tutor, not an Aupair. Whenever I'm with the children, if I am not chatting away in English every second, then she will shout at me and tell me to make more effort. There is only so much I effort I can put in, and I'm seriously being pushed to my limit. I feel like her child when I am with her. I have absolutely no independence, and it infuriates me. I understand that I am a fussy eater and that it can be a pain in the backside at times, but you are not my mother. You cannot shout at me for having a poor diet, you cannot shout at me for not wanting to eat fish, you cannot tell me how to make a cup of coffee, or how to cook a pizza, when I obviously know already.
Wow. I'm sorry. That was a pretty intense rant. I'm just pretty frustrated to be honest and I can't meet up with anyone to drown my sorrows in Vino Blanco and moan about my day, so I'll just have to do it here instead, with a chocolate milkshake…
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